Monday, November 3, 2008

Music Monday

I often find myself identifying with songs. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. So I decided that at least once a week I will post about a song that I'm diggin' or a song that is descriptive of what I'm going through or where I'm at. Brace yourselves, I listen to A LOT of music :). It is something that I truly enjoy.

In keeping with the previous post about my boy T.I.--I put his new cd on my ipod for while I run, but coincidentally I got stuck in my car by myself this weekend and just had to listen to my ipod to get the "I swear I'm not bitter I'm awake" juices going. And this is what I heard:
(yes, they are edited for the part I feel is the most descriptive. please see who I am talking about, so if you get offended for whatever I do or don't edit, sorry, sucks for you)

"My Life, Your Entertainment"
My life, your entertainment
You watch it while I live it (live it)
I walk they follow (ay)
I talk they holla (ay)
Just here for your amusement
My life, your entertainment
You watch it while I live it (live it)
You waitin' for me to lose it
I guess I'm just here for your amusement

See I don't think it would even matter
Woking a nine to (five) would it be better
I mean be honest, would you care to gossip about me
Not likely
I guess that's just the way that it goes (the way that it goes)

--Sometimes I feel like my life is on display (not from this blog by the way) Like every move I make gets picked over by someone with a fine toothed comb. I'm not saying I feel like a celebrity must feel, but get pregnant at 16 in a small-ish town, dont end up sucking at life and end up in Law School. Trust me, people talk. More of it is good now, unless youre a jealous B (then you just end up hating me because I didnt fail, and just live in your own jealousy and become a "hater" for no reason other that the fact I dont suck) But I still feel like people are just waiting in the wings for me to fail. To fall on my face so they can jump at the chance to point and say "see, I knew she wouldn't amount to anything"

So songs like this...they aren't me wallowing, they are my way of listening to them and saying you know what, sometimes my life is your entertainment, and I might be here for your amusment, but I'm not going to fail. Be amused by my ability to not let your crap and negativity get in my way.

And yes, you better believe, if I didn't go to law school, and just graduated college and gotten a 9-5 job, people would have a hell of a lot less to say. Sometimes girls can just be real catty. As long as you dont "shine" you're fine. But the second you're up on the choping block because you made them feel inadequate.

I'm not complaining. Just telling you how I feel. Now to finish, here is my favorite quote. When I was in college, I would find quotes, pictures, sayings, statistics and post them around my room. This one stayed up till I moved, right up with "Dont be a statistic"

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
--Nelson Mandela

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