Sunday, July 25, 2010

D-Day is Approaching

It's almost the big day. THE day. THE DAY. THE DAY I TAKE THE BAR EXAM. I never thought it'd get here. But it has, and it's almost over, and I couldn't be more thankful.

SO. You may be wondering what I've been up to lately. Well, going along with the recent theme, I'll update you in numbers.

1. I've been studying every day for the last couple of months. Yes, I take a day off here and there, but it's not like I'm not running it through my head over and over when I do. I think the last real break I took was almost a month ago when Jacob was here for the 4th of July weekend. Which brings me to number 2.
2. Jacob and I haven't lived in the same house let alone the same state for over a month. Since around the 20th of June. He left to go back to Texas and work until he got a job out here with the company he works for now. We honestly thought it wouldn't take this long, since he worked there before we moved to Texas. But, thanks to a crappy economy and a hiring freeze, here we are.
3. Friday, however, he DID finally get an offer! It was an informal offer but they should have a formal one ready for him this coming week!! We really don't know what it means other than he has a job. We don't know time frames, shifts or any of the other details. I'm just glad that part is over.
4. Mackenzie is growing just famously. She loves it when I eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I'm convinced she is either going to be a soccer player or a kick boxer.
5. I've learned a lot over the last month too. Not just law either. I've learned a lot about myself and about those I have around me. It has been difficult to move to another state by myself essentially. H came with me, but he's been in and out, visiting my mom and going back to Texas for a week. I have learned how to get myself through some very difficult times, and I've learned when its OK to reach out and need someone to talk to. Sometimes a simple text message from a friend can really make a difference. I've unfortunately felt a lot of loss too. Loss of friends, loss of space, loss of free time, loss of home. It hasn't been as easy of a transition as I had hoped and I have certainly been surprised at times at just how much my life has changed. I'm not sure I would have believed you if you told me it would shake out like this, that's for sure. I've been sad, I've been hurt, I've been lonely, but I've also felt a stronger sense of independence. I thought I'd never get through this whole experience without Jacob and without some of my law school buddies. But, as time as passed and everyone has gone their own way, I've discovered that I'm much more self sufficient than I gave myself credit for. And, I'm pretty sure I have the best family (mine and my in-laws) for putting up with me and my many mood swings.

As this all winds down and the bar exam moves on to the next crop of students who dare to enter its depths, I'm thankful that my time with the material is almost over. I'm hopeful that I'll pass the first time, and I'm confident that I'll at least finish ;). I am anxious to see what the next few months brings for me and for my family. There are a few things I know (baby, Jacob, school for H) and there are so many things I dont, but I'm ready to put this chapter down and turn the page to the next one.

Until next time!! Which hopefully won't be to introduce you to Mackenzie, hopefully I'll get around to this blog-thing before then!

Me and the AH-mazing ladies who took time out of their already hectic lives to plan a fabulous baby shower for me before I moved!! They are truly a blessing!


Emily said...

You are going to do awesome this week...its amazing to see how much youve grown (I don't mean physically-ha!) over the past few years. You can do anything, K...don't forget that! I am so excited for you to be done with the bar (I feel guilty sending you texts and distracting you!) so we can online shop for CiCi and Skype your growing belly...praying for your widsom and peace this week.

Matt and Jen said...

That which does not kill us only makes us stronger and it sounds like you have been building up some muscles. Not just emotionally but mentally to kick bar butt. This is the time. The hour is upon us. It is time to bring out the A game so that all of this won't have been for not. But remember life goes on reguardless... no matter how hard you smack the bar in the face, the baby will keep on growin', Hayden will keep on laughin', and Jacob will keep on lovin' you. As for me, I will probably judge you for leaving us in our and your hour of need. But that's me and this is me missing you.

Charla Mcguyer said...

It's hard to forget friends you’ve built relationships with. All those days cramming and studying for the exams can definitely help build a strong bond between all of you, but life does go on. It’s good news that you passed the bar though. Congrats to the both of you.